I am Victoria Elizabethaan In Conversation, the main mouth piece on this site.
I feel deeply honored to minister to you in this capacity. It is my deepest joy and greatest satisfaction to sow a seed of change and to watch it bloom.
I grew up as a very sickly child. I had asthma, chronic sinusitis, allergies and an extremely poor immune system. I spent many of my elementary school days at home due to asthmatic crises. And I caught just about all seasonal viruses…dengue fever, pink eye…you name it I got it. I was called many names because of my illnesses. The one that got me the most was ‘butter’. My siblings used to say that if I went outside on a sunny day I would melt.
I grew up as an outcast in my own family. All my siblings thought I acted differently from the rest of them. This would earn me much jeers and sometimes physical abuse. My dad told me he did not love me. The only person in my family I had a somewhat good relationship with was my mother. But she spoke very little, was most times depressed and had fourteen children to care for, so this limited any relationship that could be considered as valuable. I spent most of my time when I was at home locked in my room all alone with my thoughts.
My mom died when I was in grade twelve of high school and my life became even more challenging after that. Not only did I have my many illnesses as challenges, but my dad decided that he could no longer take care of me, and asked me to leave the family home. One of the main reasons my dad abandoned me was because he thought I was too much of a Christian, and he could not live in the same house with me. He hated my principles, but his home was the only one I had. I spent the evenings after school at my neighbors’ house and sneaked into what used to be my home at nights when my dad left for work. I had to get out of the house before he got home.
Of course, this arrangement didn’t last forever.
I got a scholarship grant that afforded me the opportunity to pursue tertiary education.
Having no home to return to on holidays and no means of financial support, I ended-up getting married at the age of twenty-one. The marriage only added to the rough journey. Throughout which, I was constantly degraded and abused. I needed out shortly after getting in, but held on in the absence of family support. Shortly after I got married, I started getting dreams that indicated that I had a rough journey to undertake. And all dreams suggested that I had to take the journey alone. The frequency of the dreams baffled me. But they scared me as well. I felt that from a child I was on my own. How much more lonely and challenging could it get?
At the age of thirty-five I stood in a religious congregation and heard a inner voice said, “Is this It?” It was at this point that I recognized that I was on a spiritual journey. After that experience, I had a constant vision. It was like I had another pair of eyes. And what those eyes saw were not what my physical eyes were seeing. For many weeks I saw a crossroads through my additional pair of lenses. I was standing at the crossroads . The road ahead was blocked and I needed to detour.
My extremely rough marital relationship ended in a divorce and my religious beliefs slowly began to drain away from my consciousness. In place of my religious beliefs that I held onto ardently were many questions, and I embarked on an intensely lonely and sometimes treacherous spiritual journey that lead to my spiritual awakening.
My time of spiritual awakening was marked by severe turbulence. There were many happenings and experiences that really rocked the boat of my true self. There was no one in my immediate surrounding who would or could understand what I was going through. In fact, the experience had left me ‘friendless’ as individuals sought to disassociate themselves from my spiritual evolutionary experience. The thought process was foreign … not one that any of my religious friends would give a positive nod towards.
Quite understandably, it was difficult for me as well. The fact, that the new thought process came as a few pulses which exploded and took over my entire being, instead of there being a streaming of the consciousness, left me reeling for many months.
In late May of 2011 while driving home from work and, engaged in very deep thought; I had an unusual experience with light. I suddenly got the impression of there being no sky, there was no road, and what appeared to be a massive crystal clear, jelly-like substance was coming towards me with slow, definite unidirectional streaming. The unidirectional characteristic of the flow was outstanding (and still is today in my mind). It was this slow definite unidirectional streaming that held my attention.
For some reason (unaware to me at the time) that type of streaming depicted maleness. As I became immersed in this jelly-like substance I said aloud in awe, ‘Oh! That is why they say,’ (I paused and looked more intently); ‘you have a bass voice.’ The substance disappeared and I then realized once more that I was on the road.
How long this scene lasted I had no idea. All I knew is that it seemed very long and left me in tears. I had no idea as to what this was all about. However, after this incidence, the pulses of inspiration started coming more frequently and kept me writing. Not only were there pulses of inspiration, but I felt myself being taken through an indescribable evolutionary process.
The occurrences were rather very strange. It is normally like my spirit collides with something. This thing burst open and words rippled out. It was therefore necessary for me to always have paper and pen available. The few cases in which I did not, I kept rehearsing the words until I was at the place where I could write.
A big challenge I faced was acceptance of the inspirations. On realizing how foreign they were to what I knew then, I went in denial and defiance of them. They were alien when compared to my ‘born-come-see’, my socialization, my culture, what I knew as religion then. They promoted a world view that for me to accept meant that I would have to be made a new. I considered this rather challenging and needed time to come to grips with all these happenings. There was nothing religious about the world view. While religion is formulated in external laws and principles and the following of these laws along with the dependence on a savior; the new world view promotes becoming the law that is within me (that I knew very little about at the time) and aspiring for autonomy.
This new belief system has completely changed my life. I now look at the world from a different perspective. My relationship with people, animals and mother earth have improved immensely. I am a creator of what I desire. There are no more questions regarding evil, wrong, right, wars, and other people’s behavior. I have been given an understanding of the cosmos – its structure and function – that confers a sense of completeness. I have an understanding of most happenings and this eliminates fear. I have come to realize that I am a part of eternal cosmic energy which is self-organizing. Within me lies the ever evolving consciousness and awareness. I am an organ in a wider organism. The Organism is a self-organizing system, and is therefore unable to be destroyed. Within the Self-organizing System lies all the checks and balances to guarantee its perpetuity. As a part of this self-organizing system, I am connected to the whole and has been endowed with a script that benefits the whole. I am also aware of why my spiritual journey was so challenging and why I had to go it alone. All of that was preparing me for the journey I must undertake alone to bring to my clients the cosmic thought.
The Birth of my Passion to Become a Psycho-spiritual Life Coach
In my work and in relating to others, I have noticed a very sad but common trend. People were getting angry, depressed, de-motivated and lacked a sense of direction, not because of the situation they were in, but because of how they perceived the situation. People were walking away from their relationships too. Not because of their partner’s behavior, but because of their perception of their partner’s behavior and who they think the partner should be.
I recognize the human dilemma at an early age and had a sincere desire to help, but was not quite sure what I needed to do. Over time, I discovered that we all have a set of fundamental beliefs that act as a window through which we view all our experiences. And these fundamental beliefs were either rooted in religiosity or spirituality. But the majority of us have our fundamental beliefs rooted in religiosity. These beliefs affect how we define ourselves, how we approach life, what we achieve and do not achieve, and our relationships. These fundamental beliefs are highly judgmental, and by nature of their duality, recognizes right and wrong over growth and development.
For example, Would my behavior towards others change if, instead of seeing them as wrong and evil, I see them as evolving…growing through trial and error in experience? Would I be more tolerant? Would I be more patient with my partner if I recognize that we all start this journey called life at different state of consciousness and awareness? Would I be more understanding if I embrace the truth that I myself am evolving? That my consciousness and awareness is ever changing? This does not negate the fact that some individuals are so lacking in spiritual evolution that they may harm you. But seeing individuals as lacking vs evil does create a different feeling within us.
What if, as a people, we stop focusing on right and wrong and emphasize truth…accepting things for what they are… would we become less judgmental of others? Would this improve our social health and well-being? Would it allow oneness instead of segregation? Would it improve our individual health?
Our fundamental beliefs are related to the origin of the all, our relationship to the all and who we think we are. There are so many thought processes regarding our origin and who we are that many of us are unable to make sense of it all.
It is this need of humanity to understand our origin and who we are, that inspired me to become a psycho-spiritual life coach instead of just about any other life coach. There are many individuals who have achieved much but they still possess an emptiness that drives a greed to want more. And even in the acquisition of more of the material, they are still not fulfilled because what they are achieving is incompatible with the inner space that needs to be filled.
There is a Demand for a Shift in Consciousness!
If as a people, we do not get to the point where we begin to question our belief systems, we will never rid ourselves of trivial differences and preferences such as race and ethnicity. At this time, there is the need for a paradigm shift. Our religious world view is unable to elevate us to a more advanced dimension in consciousness. And by religious consciousness, I am in no way referring to organized religion only. The religious consciousness sees its challenges as outside of itself and seeks the solution from outside of itself. The religious consciousness therefore, is always in need of a savior. The savior may be a doctor, a teacher, scientists or government. The religious consciousness seeks external laws by which to live as well. And always has someone outside of itself to blame for all its shortcomings and failures.
The paradigm shift that is required at this time is one that lifts the consciousness to self -governance. It is this shift in consciousness that will land us true freedom and allow us to experience cosmic oneness.